I don't know what I'm supposed to feel anymore.

Grizzled veteran.

Soaked in alcohol.

Trying to forget.

But the morning will come. New light. Clear thoughts. Thoughts you don't want to hear. Thoughts why you drink.

Why you try to forget.

You don't like where you are. The role the universe picked for you. You know you're supposed to be here, the way it is supposed to be. Supposed. Ugly word. You don't want to be there. But it doesn't matter what you think.

It feels unfair, but as soon as you accept your role, it will be okey. But how can you be ok with what you see.With what you feel.

The tragedy of it all. Knowing that they will learn. Learn about life. Lose their naivety. Lose that unsoiled look, on how life is supposed to be.

You don't want them to learn. You want them to keep that outlook on life. Never get to that point where you have been. And went beyond.

You think you don't care anymore. You think you've seen so much, it doesn't get to you anymore. But when the blood flows, soils the clear water, it has gone down the stream without you being able to do anything about it. You try to shout, tell them to stay back. Don't bleed in the water. Let it be clean, let it flow.

But they stray near. Try to get to you. They feel you can help them. They step into the river. That clean river of promises. They talk. But you don't hear them anymore. Their faces, added to a long line of empty shells. You try to forget.

Forget they talked. Forget they tried. You wish for another start. But the blood is there now. The water has been soiled.

Again.

Another empty promise.

But they'll find you again.

And the blood...

It will flow again.



They say an end can be a start
Feels like I've been buried yet I'm still alive
It's like a bad day that never ends
I feel the chaos around me

A thing I don't try to deny
I'd better learn to accept that
There are things in my life that I can't control

They say love ain't nothing but a sore
I don't even know what love is
Too many tears have had to fall
Don't you know I'm so tired of it all

I have known terror dizzy spells
Finding out the secrets words won't tell
Whatever it is it can't be named
There's a part of my world that' s fading away

You know I don't want to be clever
To be brilliant or superior
True like ice, true like fire
Now I know that a breeze can blow me away

Now I know there's much more dignity
In defeat than in the brightest victory
I'm losing my balance on the tight rope
Tell me please, tell me please, tell me please...

If I ever feel better
Remind me to spend some good time with you
You can give me your number
When it's all over I'll let you know

Hang on to the good days
I can lean on my friends
They help me going through hard times

But I'm feeding the enemy
I'm in league with the foe
Blame me for what's happening
I can't try, I can't try, I can't try...

No one knows the hard times I went through
If happiness came I miss the call
The stormy days ain't over
I've tried and lost know I think that I pay the cost

Now I've watched all my castles fall
They were made of dust, after all

Someday all this mess will make me laugh
I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait...

It's like somebody took my place
I ain't even playing my own game
The rules have changed well I didn't know
There are things in my life I can't control

Dark is the night, cold is the ground
In the circular solitude of my heart
As one who strives a hill to climb
I am sure I'll come through I don't know how

They say an end can be a start
Feels like I've been buried yet I'm still alive
I'm losing my balance on the tight rope
Tell me please, tell me please, tell me please...

If I ever feel better
Remind me to spend some good time with you
You can give me your number

When it's all over


I'll let you know.